Clean Blonde Jokes
You'll love our clean blonde jokes:
An old lady is on the way to the shops when she passes a tree and up at the top on a branch are two blondes, one has a saw and is cutting the branch off at the trunk..
"Don’t do that", the lady shout up at them, "Don’t saw the branch you are sitting on, it will fall all the way down and you’ll both hurt yourselves!!!"
The two blonds just stare until the lady goes on her way.
After shopping the old lady comes back to the tree and on the ground are both blondes - with the rest of the branch in a pile on the ground - rubbing their heads and are black and blue!!
"I TOLD YOU SO", said the old lady and went on her way.
One blonde turns to the other and asks, “Who was that??”
"That old PSYCHIC that went past before"!!!
A blind man wandered into a Female Biker Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given that you're blind, that you should know five things:
1) The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat behind the bar
2) The bouncer is a blonde girl
3) I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb., blonde woman with a black belt in karate
4) The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
5) The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks about it, then shakes his head and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
More Clean Blonde Jokes
A blonde and her friend went into a variety store, where her friend showed her a thermos. Blonde, "What's that for?" Friend, "Oh it keeps things hot and cold" The next day the blonde arrives at work with a thermos and was asked what she had in it, to which she replied "Two popsicles and a coffee".
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"
More Clean Blonde Jokes
A blond decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blond begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... the Walmart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
Two blondes walk out of a movie theatre in Las Vegas. One looks up into the sky and asks the other "Which is closer the moon or New York?". After a moment the other blonde replies "The moon." her friend asks why.
"well duh, you can see the moon."
Clean Blonde jokes
Click the links below to see more Clean Blonde jokes...
Swimming With Blondes Not rated yet
A blonde was doing swimming lessons and she had to swim the pool. She got half way there and said "I'm too tired." Then she swam all the way back.
Ranch life Not rated yet
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep …
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