Laugh yourself silly with our wife jokes...
Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.
The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing..
"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"
"I didn't have to," Dave replied.
Yesterday, when I left work , I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'."
"When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, ' Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want'.....
So, Here I am!"
COUNSELING - SOUTHERN STYLE
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tabacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says,
"Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says,
"Better think it over..............women like that are hard to find."
How to find out who is really "Mans best friend".
Lock your Dog and your wife in the back of your rig for 3 hours .
Open it up and see which one is happy to see you again!!!
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started.....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started.
Click the links below to see more Wife Jokes...
TWENTY DOLLARS Not rated yet
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, …
Winning it big! Not rated yet
A very poor man decides to take his last $500 to Vegas and bet it all in a casino. He comes out a millionaire and runs to a payphone to call his wife. …
Loving Wife Not rated yet
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
fast 'n' funny Not rated yet
A couple were spending their 1st night in their new house. The wife went into the kitchen to prepare a couple of drinks, but a few minutes later she came …
Medical distinction between Guts and Balls Not rated yet
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between …
Morning Sex Not rated yet
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
Executive affairs Not rated yet
A cunning executive was having an affair with his young secretary. Every Friday the two would leave work a few hours early and have sex at the secretary's …
Condoms Not rated yet
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
The man matter-of-factly …
Drunk guy walks into a bar... Not rated yet
A drunk guy walks into a bar, goes over to a woman standing at the jukebox, and grabs her a$$.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” the woman …
Proof of Age Not rated yet
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify …
Men's Perspective... Not rated yet
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides …
High School Reunion Not rated yet
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. …
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP Not rated yet
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian …
Have a funny joke you want to share?
Click on the submit button below.
Return from Wife Jokes to the Home page