Short Funny Jokes

This page is dedicated to short funny jokes:

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.

The manager runs up to the man and says, "What are you doing?!!"

The blind man replies, "It's ok, I'm just looking around."

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

Yo momma is so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

We don't know. Never happens. Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

Microsoft is not the answer - Microsoft is the question. The answer is no!

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

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