Scary Jokes

Get ready for a fright(fully good laugh!) with our scary jokes...

A man was walking home alone, late one night, when he hears a
Bump...........behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin
 banging its way down the middle of the street towards him....
bump, bump, bump.

Terrified, the man begins to run towards home, the coffin bouncing
 faster, faster, faster, faster. 
Bump, bump, bump

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him

However, the coffin crashes through his door with the lid of the coffin clapping
, clappity-bump............clappity-bump...............clappity-bump...........
on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door...........bumping and clapping towards him

The man screams and reaches for something, anything ......... but all he can find is a bottle of 
cough syrup
. Desperate.............he throws the cough syrup at the coffin. 
The coffin stops........................

The Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep.

However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy. "Good," shouted the bat, "because I didn't!"

Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?" The monster said, "Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker."

One Liner Scary Jokes

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?
A fangster.

What is Dracula's favorite pudding?
Leeches and scream

More Scary Jokes

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Posted to Craig's List Personals: Not rated yet
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43AM EST I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket …

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