Over The Hill Jokes
Over the hill jokes: You know you are over the hill when:
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- Your back goes out but you stay home.
- You wake up looking like your driver license's picture.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- Happy hour is a nap.
- You're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
- You say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
- All you want for your birthday is not be reminded of your age.
- You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with "Dr."
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
- Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
- The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
- It takes twice as long to look half as good.
- Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
- You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.
- You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.
- You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
Other Over The Hill Jokes
When I die I want to pass on while peacefully in my sleep - just like my Grandpa did.
Not hollering, clawing and screaming like the other 4 people that were in the car he was driving.
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