Horse Jokes



Horse jokes that'll make you bray...

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbour suggested that she cut the tail shorter on one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.

It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height.

When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black. COLD HARD HORSE FACTS

  • Hock: Financial condition of all horse owners.
  • Stall: What your rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big horse show.
  • A Bit: What you have left in your pocket after you've been to your favorite tack shop.
  • Fence: Decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on.
  • Horse Auction: What you think of having after your horse bucks you off.
  • Pinto: Green coat pattern found on freshly washed light colored horses left unattended for 2 minutes.
  • Well Mannered: Hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.
  • Rasp: Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from ones knuckles.
  • Lunging: Popular training method in which a horse exercises their owner by spinning them in circles until dizzy.
  • Gallop: Customary gait a horse chooses when returning back to the barn.
  • Nicely Started: Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him.
  • Colic: Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse fair food stands.
  • Colt: What your mare gives you when you want a filly.
  • Easy to Load: Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50lb bag of oats, and a tractor with loader.
  • Easy to Catch: In a 10x10 stall.
  • Easy Rider: Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with ride-able.
  • Endurance Ride: End result when your horse spooks and runs away with you.
  • Hives: What you get when receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3 dogs, 4 cats, and 1 donkey.
  • Hobbles: Walking gait of a horse owner after their foot has been stepped on by their horse.
  • Feed: Expensive substance used to manufacture manure.
  • Dog House: What you are in when you spend too much money on grooming supplies and pretty halters.
  • Light Cribber: We can t afford to build anymore fencing or box stalls for this buzz saw on four legs.
  • Three Gaited Horse: A horse that. 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) falls.


Horse Jokes

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