Hockey Jokes

We have a lot of hockey jokes to enjoy:

Q: What's the difference between a hockey game and a prize fight?
A: In a hockey game, the fights are real.

10. SPF 30 sunscreen, for that annoying back of the neck burn.
9. For the significant other on your list, here's one that won't cost you a penny: After the game, you can "tend to his/her equipment", if you know what I mean.
8. Chia Pet (hey, everyone loves chia pets).
7. Ice packs, Ice packs, and more ice packs.
6. Patrick Roy's newest instructional video: "How to alienate a whole city in three easy steps" (endorsed by Mike Keenan)
5. Dominic Hasek's newest instructional video: "Ugly goaltending made easy."
4. Blaine Lacher's newest instructional video: "Riding the Pine with Style"
3. A contract with a real NHL team, instead of an IHL or a contract in hockey hell (Curtis Joesph only)
2. Clothing that brings out the color of bruises.
1. Gift certificate for mental health services.

Other Hockey Jokes

Three Canadians and three Americans were traveling to a hockey game.
 The three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket.

"How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an American. "Watch and you'll see," says a Canadian.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please!"

The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American. "Watch and you'll see," replies a Canadian.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby.

Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!"

More Hockey jokes

Click the links below to see more hockey jokes...

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