Funny Quotes

"Nobody goes where the crowds are anymore. It's too crowded."
- Yogi Berra

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"
- Lily Tomlin?

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it by not dying."
- Woody Allen

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
- Mike Barfield

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Definition of confidence: Ignorance of the possibilities of failure.
- Steven Scott

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.
- George Bush

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- Henny Youngman

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency.
- Anonymous

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.
- Cokie Roberts

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
- Pablo Picasso

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
- Edgar Wallace

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
- George Gobol

There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
- A. Nonymous

What's on your mind, if you'll forgive the overstatement?
- Fred Allen

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
? Anonymous

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
? Mae West

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
? Unknown

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