Funny Kid Jokes

Here's our selection of funny kid jokes and riddles:

Why did Dracula visit the doctor? Because he was coffin.

How do you kill two bees at once? A: With a bee-bee gun!

What do you call a four legged lawn mower that you can ride? A moower!

What is full of holes, but can still hold a lot of water?
A sponge.

Why did the nose refuse to go to school?
He was tired of being picked on!

The teacher told Jack that his paper about his cat was the same as his brother's. She asked if he copied it. "No teacher, Jack explained, "It's the same cat!"

What is it that has a bottom at the top of them?
Your legs!

What is Dracula's favorite movie?
The Vampire Strikes Back.

Do you know the fastest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!

Two candles talking.. one asks: "What are you doing tonight??" the other says: "Going OUT!!!"

What has stripes and is found in Antarctica?
A lost zebra.

Why couldn't the dalmatian hide from his mom?
Because he was already spotted!

Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
He wanted to visit Pluto.

What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.

What do you call a polar bear in the desert?

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

Johnny threw the clock out the window. His father asked him why. "I heard you say time flies," he answered.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
It has to be to reach its head!

If you had nine apples in one hand and five in the other, what would you have?
Big hands!

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?
"Why the long face?"

Funny Kid Jokes

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