What is a Canadian?
A Canadian is a fellow wearing English tweeds,
a Hong Kong shirt and Spanish shoes,
who sips Brazilian coffee sweetened with Philippine sugar from a Bavarian cup while nibbling Swiss cheese,
sitting at a Danish desk over a Persian rug,
after coming home in a German car from an Italian movie...
and then writes his Member of Parliament with a Japanese ballpoint pen on French paper,
demanding that he do something about foreigners taking away our Canadian jobs.
More Canadian Jokes
Change your course now
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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95% of all Canadians say "OH SHIT" before going in the ditch on a slippery road.
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