40th Birthday Jokes

Lighten the mood for a friend or colleague who is advancing in years with one of our 40th birthday jokes.


At the age of twenty, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at forty, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all. Anonymous

Life begins on your 40th birthday. But so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. Helen Rowland

One Liners

I'm not old, I'm youthfully challenged.

Getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative.

I'm not 40, I'm 18 with 22 years experience!

In dog years I'm dead.

Don't interrupt me while I'm talking to myself.

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

I'm too sexy for my hair, that's why it isn't there.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The older I get, the better I was.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Paul was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't have a clue what to get my wife for her 40th birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."

So the that's what Paul did.

The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," said Paul.

"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.

"Oh yes! she jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!""

More 40th Birthday Jokes

Click the links below to see more 40th Birthday Jokes...

Wife's 40th Birthday Not rated yet
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up …

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